I don’t really like America. This may come as a shock to you as it’s been my home for 12 years. I’m the kind of person who lives in the moment and makes the most of what I have. I choose to embrace the world around me with an open mind and an open heart. So here I am, in America, 12 years after moving here with my job in February 2000. I could have gone back to France (which I still miss so viscerally,) could go back to my roots in England, could try somewhere entirely new.
I’ve felt at home everywhere that I’ve lived.
As I embarked upon this post, I was thinking of chronicling the major milestones during these 12 years. But two particular moments stand out, defining me and my future.
Flashback to August 5, 2001. Not to that lazy Sunday morning and the heart-stopping moment when this wonderful man I had fallen in love with asked me to be his wife. But later that night, as he slept beside me and my head and heart exploded with emotions and my eyes gushed with tears. Joy: I had finally found my soul mate. Amazement/gratitude: that someone could love me enough to want to marry me. Relief: now I could actually dare to see my future, having children could finally become a reality.
Fast-forward to April 2004. After a tough and mentally torturous journey, we discover I am pregnant. Yes, my body is about to perform this ridiculously clever process of growing a person. They say when you become a parent, you permanently wear your heart on your sleeve. For me, this started the day the little blue line appeared after peeing on the white stick. Life was profoundly altered from that moment. I was no longer one person. I still look at my son with amazement and say, “I made you! How nuts is that.”
Now we have two beautiful kids. This April, Devin and I celebrate 10 happy years of marriage. We have a lovely home, great jobs, good health, fantastic friends. I do not take any of this for granted. I wish my parents and siblings were closer, geographically, but we are closer precisely because of our physical distance.
They say home is where the heart is. Right now, it’s here. America.
Jenn R
/ February 12, 2012I am sorry you don’t like it here, but I think I understand as well as I can.
Rest assured, I am glad you are here though!
Annie Moore
/ February 12, 2012DEVIN (I Knew IT), then Gabriel and Tessa! The best reasons for you to be in America! So glad they are the anchors that hold you here; you live in the moment girl, you!
Kristin Parran Faulder
/ February 15, 2012I have thought the same thing time and time again about Boston. But then I look at Joe (and now Malikai) and realize it doesn’t matter where I am in the world – they are home. And at that moment, Boston doesn’t seem quite so bad.
They sure do make it easy to find the good.
samanthamcgarry
/ February 15, 2012Ain’t it the truth? Thanks for the thoughtful comment.
farfromhomemama
/ March 12, 2012I completely sympathise. I’ve been an expat for 5 years and the country where I am is almost faultless but it’s just not for me. I was so busy for the first 3 years that I didn’t have time to think about it but then my son was born, my life slowed down, and now it’s just a place where I live – albeit made wonderful because I have my husband and son with me.
samanthamcgarry
/ March 12, 2012That’s great to hear and thank you for stopping by and commenting. Where are you?
farfromhomemama
/ March 12, 2012I’m from Wales but living in Switzerland. Ready to go back home though.
samanthamcgarry
/ March 12, 2012Two very different places, for sure. I spent a lot of time in Geneva in late 90s. It was nice, a little weird. Great cheese, tho.
Windmilltales
/ March 14, 2012It is so true, home is definitely where the heart is and the heart creates memories
samanthamcgarry
/ March 14, 2012That’s right! Thank you for commenting.