Three Bonus Skills to Teach Your Kids

This is not a post about teaching your kids to dress themselves or tie their own shoelaces. It’s not even a post about ensuring your kids tidy their rooms and put their dirty clothes in the hamper. Or take out the trash and pack their own lunch. And shocker, it’s not about kids picking up their effing Legos. It’s not about teaching reading, manners, social skills, negotiation, independence or any of that.

Yes, yes, these are all important to their well-being and development, to the orderliness of your household, your mental health and the general good of society and all that. But there are a few extra skills which, quite frankly/selfishly, are the icing on the parental cake. Let’s call them bonus skills.

Teach them:

  • How to give your neck and shoulder massage nice, firm massage. Their little bony fingers can actually dig in to your tight sore muscles better than an expensive masseur.
  • How to use the coffee machine. After all kids love to push buttons so popping a K-cup into the machine is a breeze.
  • How to drive. No more chauffering them plus you no longer have to always be the designated driver. (Of course this doesn’t apply to parents of the under-16 crowd but we can dream, right?)

What other bonus skills are you teaching your kids?

 

Summer Swan Song & Back to School Angst

Well, that went fast! Here we are, just three days of summer camp left and back to school in a week’s time. It’s a time to pause and marvel at summer’s imprint on my kids – before I, true to form, start stressing about the imminent change to our schedules, logistics and my inevitable working Mom guilt.

Summer has a habit of showering my kids with one heck of a growth spurt: both mentally and physically. Mentally, they become more self-assured, strutting off to camp every day, confident in their character, willing to learn, practice and hone new skills, navigate complex social situations, make new friends – both peers and counselors.

Summer mostly leaves her mark on their bodies. Long days of constant motion and outdoor action convert their little bodies into long, lean, muscular, bronzed creatures. They grew at least two feet taller each summer – I’m not kidding. The sun bleaches the soft down on their foreheads and rains golden streaks into their hair. Their bums are shocking white in contrast with the rest of the lanky, ripped bodies! Summer renders them ever more beautiful.

Best of all, they return home from camp each night filthy, hungry and tired. They eat their body weight in dinner, chug several pints of milk, shower off the day’s dust, grime, sun screen and bug spray, and fall, clean and exhausted, into their beds and into deep, sweet dreams.

This evening, we talked about what they’d miss most about camp. Their friends and swimming every day were their answers. Then we talked about what they were looking forward about going back to school. Their friends and learning new things, they responded.

It amazes me how seamlessly and confidently they slide from one season to the next, without angst, without regret, with anticipation.

And so we go back to school. However, for me as a working Mom, the transition isn’t quite as carefree as the kids.

Back to school, for me, brings a change of schedule with school starting an hour later, meaning I get to the office later, compressing my already busy work day. It brings regret that I don’t have the time in my schedule to walk my kids to school. It foists guilt that I can’t be as present in the classroom as maybe I could or should be. lt slams me with frustration that I’m not able to pick them up before 6pm every day, meaning our evenings together are all-too-short.

Surely, they deserve more of me?

This is a state-of-mind and heart that I face at this time of year every year. I struggle with it. And then accept it, for my choice to work is my choice. And, luckily for me, my kids weather this time of year  better than I do – so I guess I must be doing something right.

Motherhood – the Most Underpaid, Underqualified Uber-Job?

As I was negotiating a peace treaty between one of my kids and my husband the other day, it occurred to me that being a mother is actually an amalgamation of many, many, many jobs. The majority of us Moms have little or no training for any of theses roles other than the on-the-job training we receive every day.
What’s more, we are unpaid for our Mommy uber-job (other than in hugs and kisses which I love, of course, but which do not pay for the mortgage or groceries.) In fact a recent Salary.com study calculated the true worth of us Moms. According to an article in Fiscal Times:
… after all the various duties are added up, stay-at-home moms put in 94.7 hours in a typical workweek, and it would cost $112,962 a year to replace her. For working moms, the extra 57.9 hours a week of work they put in is worth $66,979.
So, it took me about 30 seconds to come up with the following list of all the jobs that Mom does (got any to add?):
  • Nurse
  • Short-order cook
  • Investigator (which one of you spread ketchup all over the bathroom floor?)
  • Mediator
  • Therapist
  • Artist
  • Handyman
  • Teacher
  • Event planner
  • Administrator
  • Secretary
  • Financial advisor
  • Personal shopper
  • Stylist
  • Photographer
  • Hazmat cleanup
  • Decorator
  • Archivist
  • Lobbyist
  • Chauffeur
  • Coach
  • Housekeeper
  • Diplomat
  • Comedienne
  • Forensic investigator (is that chocolate – or poop?)
With all this acquired experience and talent, you’d think the employers would be moving heaven and earth to attract more Moms back to the workforce – and providing us with more flexible working arrangements.
But that, my friends, is another topic for another post, another day.
(I’d like to thank my sister-in-law and a couple of my friends for their inspiration and input to this post. Rock on, Moms!)
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 60 other followers

%d bloggers like this: