I may or may not have done – or be currently doing – all or some of the items below. Let’s get real:
- No bra, no makeup. Often no clothes. (But note: clothing is recommended when going outside to shovel)
- Lifted all restrictions on the kids’ screen and TV time
- Shaken your fist in rage at Mother Nature
- Threatened children with cookies/toys/violence should they utter a word during your conference calls or break their bones while jumping up and down on a creaky bed upstairs and directly over your work area
- Mandatory slippers
- Excessive Facebooking and Twittering
- Realized you’ve been sitting at your desk for 4 hours straight, jumped up (creakily) to do squats and a plank. Then sat back down for another 4 hours straight
- All day snacking (no meals)
- Worn headphones to drown out sounds of the children talking/fighting/playing/asking for lunch
- Banished kids outside in sub-freezing temperatures armed with shovels and snowballs
- Amateur homeschooling efforts
- Nervously and obsessively tracking weather.com to see when the snow will come to an end
- Pining for your colleagues’ faces
- Taking conference calls from your bathroom while hiding from children
- Jumping every time you get a text or a call for fear it’s the school announcing that tomorrow is another snow day (nooooooooooooo!)
- Lacing your hot cocoa while chanting repeatedly “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere”
Good luck fellow parents; may the force be with you.
Posted by samanthamcgarry on February 9, 2015
It’s been a long week and it’s not over yet. Been doing the working Mom/sick kid juggle a.k.a. trying to do it all and not doing much of anything well. I’ve been Worried Mama. I’ve been Sympathetic Mama. I’ve been Entertaining Mama. I’ve been Tradeoff Mama. I’ve been Sick Mama too. And today I’m Bitchy Mama. My patience has worn thin, I need uninterrupted sleep and to watch TV that is not animated.
These are the zero-tolerance rules that Bitchy Mama has set forth today for the kids:
- Any sentence starting with “I want” is being ignored.
- Any request that does not include the word “please” is being ignored.
- All and any whining is ignored.
- If you are yelling for me and I am in a different part of the house, you will be ignored. Come find me. Especially if it involves blood or other bodily fluids.
- If you are fighting, do not expect me to moderate. Work it out.
- Tattle-telling will get you nowhere, fast.
- If you do not listen to me, there’s a strong chance I will yell at you.
- If you need something and it is within reach, go get it yourself.
- I am the boss of you.
Let’s be clear. These are not rules that were implemented for the first time today. They are a constant – kind of. There’s usually a fair amount of latitude and negotiation involved; some give and take. But today I was The Enforcer. And it felt really good.
Bitchy Mama will hopefully be replaced by Sweet & Loving Mama tomorrow. But the zero-tolerance rules will remain.
Posted by samanthamcgarry on February 17, 2012